The Scarlet Melody: Mystery Unravels

Angel lied in an ocean of blood, as lifeless as a dried leaf. The knife was in my hand and I was the singer of this melody.

Yes, I was the killer of my child, at least physically I was. Did I know it the entire time? No, I did not until I saw my hands drenched in Angel’s blood. The entire time there was this other side within me which wanted to free itself. It was like two sides of a coin unaware of each other.

I never knew that work would become my life support, so much so that when this part of my life had to be sacrificed, subconsciously my mind had to build a defence in the form of a second personality. The sole motto of this personality was to regain the old life, a life without weaknesses, love and sacrifices.

On the night Angel died, police took me into custody and interrogated me for several hours. But I was drowning in my hollowness, having lost the very purpose to live. I did not want to justify my actions in any way, so I kept quiet. Emptiness, regret, confusion, anger, grief, frustration, encapsulated me. Next, I was taken to a psychiatrist where it was revealed that I had Dissociative Identity Disorder. But now the question is, what actually happened every time Angel was hurt?

It all started that evening when Anshul texted me, “Sorry honey, I won’t be able to come home tonight. Boss gave me some urgent paperwork that needs to be completed by tomorrow morning and this might ensure my leap to promotion. I will call you once I get some time, take care”. It was the first time when my other personality marked its presence. When I read that text I was taken back to my workplace memories and the fact that Anshul was able to live the life without any change made the other side of me feel insecure. And as soon as it felt threatened, it channelled the anger to Angel since she was the source of this change. But both the personalities couldn’t coexist simultaneously, so every time she expressed her presence, I was lost in oblivion. When I was lost in my old workplace memories, I wasn’t actually sitting on the couch. My body was taken over by the other personality and my consciousness took a back seat. I went into Angel’s room and saw her playing with her doll. I envied her happiness, so I snatched her doll, broke its neck and threw it away. Next, I grasped her by her wrists, lifted her up from her crib and looked at her. I enjoyed watching her smile fade away and then I simply dropped her on the floor. I quickly came back to the living room and once the goal was accomplished, my personality switched once again and I was back to reality.  The lights were dim to me because I was going into the depths where brightness is unknown and the footsteps I heard were my own.

The next day when Anshul came back and got to know that Angel was hurt, he blamed me for not being responsible enough and my other personality blamed Angel for this. That day I had to do all the household chores alone, as Anshul was tired and he went to sleep early. Later that night Angel woke up from her sleep, crying for milk. As Anshul was deep in his sleep, I didn’t wake him up. I took Angel to the playroom and gave her something to play with. Meanwhile, I went to the kitchen to boil the milk. As I was doing so, my other personality got triggered. I started going into the depths again and this time it was a bit more intense. I went to the playroom, picked up Angel from the crib and abruptly let go of her. She fell on the floor and this time she hit her knees on one of the crib legs. Her knees started bleeding, and I quickly left the room, pulling the door shut. When I reached the kitchen, I snapped back to reality, and I remembered the sound of slamming the door. I realised that the milk was overflowing the vessel, so I quickly turned it off and ran towards the playroom. The rest is known to you.

In the next few days, nothing really happened that could trigger the other side of me. So I felt at ease hoping that it ended for good. But there was certainly more to witness. After Anshul left for his business trip to Toronto, I had the home to myself so I thought of cleaning the house. As I was cleaning the rooms, I entered the storeroom to keep away some of the unwanted things in the cartons. Among the scattered boxes I spotted one which had all my official files in it. I kept them away as I didn't require them for the time-being. Looking at the files, I realised that I miss my old life, and felt I had an identity back then. But I also cherished my present life. However, the other part of me despised the present. It was being provoked by these thoughts, but only if I knew. I came to the playroom and started cleaning the shelves when I felt someone advancing towards me. But in reality, my other personality was advancing to my consciousness, and the switch was about to happen. I ran towards the door thinking that Angel must be in danger but it was too late. The switch took place, and I blacked out. In the meantime, I went to my bedroom and picked up Angel. I took her to the storeroom and kept her away in one of the cartons just like my old life which I desired. When I regained my control over consciousness, I found myself lying at the very same spot where I fainted, at least that's what I thought back then. And then began the search. This incident confirmed that something was truly wrong but what I couldn't realise is, the wrong was within me. I informed Anshul about the happenings and he was as taken back as me. I also arranged a prayer meet for our well-being, but little did I know that what I truly needed was a psychiatrist.

Following this incident, Anshul came back from Toronto and decided to take a leave for few weeks. We both were horrified by these incidents, so we didn't let Angel go out of our sight. We would be with Angel in turns, but at no point of time Angel was left alone. One day I had to go out to run some errands as Anshul stayed back to take care of Angel. As I was out in the market, I met one of my colleagues. She was in the area for a business meeting. She got promoted to my post, and I was really happy for her since she was a good friend of mine. We had a little chat over coffee and she talked about her life at work. I could relate to all of it and I thought to myself that there was a day when my colleagues looked up to me, I was their inspiration. But on the second thought I was now a mother, and I felt ecstatic to think that one day my child would look up to me as well. This little chat had a cosmic impact on me, or rather the other side of me. While I was coming back home, I was constantly thinking about the conversation that I just had. The repeating thoughts kept pushing me over the edge. Before I could even realise, I reached home, and I stood just outside the door on the porch. I looked through the window and saw Angel sitting on the couch alone watching TV while Anshul was nowhere to be seen. I don't know why, but instead of entering the house, I wanted to check where Anshul was first. I went around the house towards the backyard and saw Anshul talking to someone over the phone. And this time, I did not get any time to process the situation because my other side was already provoked and it just required a spark to end it all. Angel was in grave danger because her own mother was the true evil and this evil inside her would not stop at anything. My personality switched within a fraction of a second and I hurried inside the house, trying not to make any noise. Angel looked at me and giggled, expecting her mother to love her. But it wasn't her mother standing in front of her, it was just a monster and it knew nothing of motherly love. I headed to the kitchen cabinet and picked up a knife. My heart was remorseless, and I wasn't capable of being empathetic. I walked to Angel and stretched her hands. My sweet baby thought momma was playing with her... Haha... Yes, I played her. In a swift move, I slit both her wrists. She screamed in pain, but the volume of TV was too loud for her cries to be heard. I ran out of the house and dumped the knife in a garbage bin. After a few moments I came back to my senses and found myself outside the coffee shop I was in. I was startled for a brief moment but then I found my way back. And, when I reached home, my world just shattered right in front of me. We rushed to the hospital and once Angel was in a stable condition, I was allowed to visit her. However, she was unconscious at the time and the moment Anshul entered the room, she opened her eyes. What happened next was unexpected and misinterpreted. Angel started crying when she saw Anshul but it wasn't Anshul she was scared of rather it was me. She was traumatised and when she saw me, she felt I would hurt her again. 

This incident shook us and hence we were forced to take some drastic decisions for Angel's safety. We decided to shift to another city and turn over a fresh leaf. Anshul also started looking for a new job.

On the night of Angel's death, I was busy decorating the house for her birthday party and preparing food for Anshul. It was his first day at the new job and I wished to celebrate it with him. I was really happy and excited for Angel's first birthday. But the other face of me was not that happy about this new life and especially Anshul's new job. While I was putting the flowers in the vase, I received a text from Anshul that he wouldn't be able to join me for dinner as he was celebrating his new job with his old friends. I felt extremely disappointed. All my time and efforts were in vain. For the first time, even if for a few brief seconds, I did despise this life. And it was the ultimate provocation it required to ignite. After completing the decoration I went into the kitchen to put the food inside the refrigerator but before I could do so, my head started paining unbearably. The darkness consumed me completely and there was no light of hope. It switched. I went to the living room where Angel was playing on the floor with her dolls. I had the knife in my hands and as I walked closer to her, I looked at the clock. Her birthday was just ten minutes away or I should say her death was just ten minutes away. I sat beside her and took her in my lap. The next moment I was bathed in blood. I put her on the floor and kept staring at her. The melody ended when her heart stopped beating once and for all.

I was in the asylum for the next seven years but I was treated like a human there, a monster was being treated like a human. I was given food four times a day and a comfortable bed to sleep. But I did not deserve any of this luxury. I wanted to pay for my sin, I wanted to be tortured. And what can be harsher than a life without your loved ones?  So one day, I ran away. I tried to kill myself but then I thought that death would be too easy for me and hence I'm punishing myself till date.

"You really don't have to do this Akshara. I have seen you sleeping in front of my house for months and you don't even beg to people. I always knew that you had a dark past and today I couldn't help but ask you what brought you to the streets. Whatever you did was unknown to you, but now you should forgive yourself."

"It has been very kind of you Hannah. For last four months you have fed me every single day. So when is that baby going to see the light of the world, Hannah? "

"My delivery date is due next week. I'm so nervous! I really hope everything goes right."

"Do you know what is my punishment Hannah? Regret and repent. This is what tortures me, and this is what I deserve."  

"Wait. How come you never got caught by the police Akshara?"

"Killing my baby was my biggest regret and killing other's is what punishes me."

"What! What are you even talking about?"

The knife pierces her flesh as she exhales her last breath. Yet another melody ends.